It has been a little over a month and a half since my dad went to be with the Lord. In spite of that, life just seems to go on, without hardly missing a beat. Being the wife of a pastor/missionary/full time Christian worker for 38 years, I can tell you that I have been to many a funeral and I have lost many relatives, dear friends and co-workers. I have never said to someone grieving the loss of a close loved one, “I know how you feel” ...because, even though I have felt the loss of people that I dearly loved, I had not lost anyone in my immediate family! I could only imagine how they might feel, but I had never walked in their shoes.
So, how does it feel, when someone who has been such an essential, vital, and significant part of your life - all your life - is no longer in your life?? Well, it feels like a gaping hole has been left in your heart - your universe!
It seems to me, that the passing of a life, should cause a “hiccup” in the world’s activities, or at least, cause a small ripple in time. I must confess to you, that it somewhat puzzles me that your personal world can be shaken to the core and yet the rest of the world in general just keeps going on, taking no notice. Sometimes, it may be that even those closest to you can be unaware of the depth of pain that you feel. They just don’t get it. And even though there are others who are sincerely sympathetic and hurting with you, you feel as if you are all alone in a place you have never before been.
That is ...you are all alone, except for God and His Holy Comforter! If He is there with you, then it is a place full of sweet sadness and there is a solace that only He can give. It is certainly not a place that I would ever want to walk through without Him by my side!
However, through the death of my Dad, I have also learned that, although there is an aloneness in grief, there is so much comfort in the prayers of others and those who seek bring comfort to you by their kind expressions of sympathy! It is that love and support of others that is helping us to get from point A (the point of grief) to point B (the place of healing). It makes me think of Christmas Day with Dad, five days before he died. 
Dad’s brother and his wife have, for many years, hosted a family reunion on Christmas afternoon. After talking with the staff at the skilled nursing facility and my aunt and uncle, it was determined that, as long as certain precautions were taken, we could take Dad to the reunion for a few hours. So, on Christmas afternoon, Mother, Mike and I went to pick up Dad. I signed the appropriate paperwork saying that I would be responsible and make sure that Dad was well taken care of and safe. That meant that we would make sure he was safely transferred between the van and his wheelchair and did not run out of oxygen. Be that as it may, when we got to my uncle’s, Dad refused to use the wheelchair or the oxygen!
Even though I understood that it was a matter of manly pride on Dad’s part, I was terrified! I was responsible ...and I knew he was not able walk that far! However, Dad went into the house with the help of someone on either side of him. With their strong support and help with balance, Dad pretty much walked in and sat down. Nevertheless, a few hours later when it was time to return to the van, Daddy was so tired that he could not pick up his feet and hold his own weight. I know that those who helped him back to the van were heartbroken for Dad and would have gladly willed their own strength to him ...but they could not. If he had not had those strong arms on either side to hold him up and propel him to the van, he would never have been able to get from point A to point B.
That is what every card, note and phone call has been for me ...for my mom and sisters! At first, I tried to respond to each one. But later, when I I had time to get online, there were scores of people who, through email and Facebook, had sent messages of sympathy and encouragement and assured us of their prayers. I would have loved to send a personal message of appreciation to each one, but it was just impossible to do so! I just could not keep up!
I would like to use this public format to thank you ALL for every phone call, every sympathy card, every email and every note on Facebook that we received expressing your sympathy and prayers on our behalf. Some of you I have never even met face to face, yet you took the time to reach out to someone who was hurting. You have taken the time to walk beside us and hold us up when we have needed it the most. You are helping us to get from point A to point B. The words “thank you” just do not seem enough to convey what is in our hearts. However, I know no other words!
May our Heavenly Father bless each of you abundantly for reaching out to us and being such a blessing!
And once again, I would like to say
No comments:
Post a Comment